Refuge

"A Man will be as a hiding place from the wind, and a cover from the tempest, as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.  The eyes of those who see will not be dim and the ears of those who hear will listen."  Isaiah 32;2,3

These words were like gold to me yesterday...a new verse that I had not found or noticed before stock full of images that represent refuge.  In these prophetic verses about the coming King there is a definite need.  A windy, stormy place; a dry and weary land....yes, I can relate to those places in my life.  And yes, I am hungry for the life and shelter you bring to these places.  These verses bring to mind another shelter you speak of in Isaiah- being held next to the heart of Jesus, just like a little child...  " He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm and carry them close to His heart..." Is. 40:11  

Let me be this little lamb Jesus!  Hold me close, let my eyes see clearly and my ears be sensitive and listening for Your voice.

"Everybody rests at the end of the day, what a gain if everybody could rest in the waiting arms of the Father, and listen until He whispers." Brother Lawrence

One Who Embraces

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls-

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills.”

Habakkuk 3:17-19

These words have been of great encouragement to me and encapsulate in many ways the anthem of my year, giving voice to the things God has been teaching me.   God gave this faith to Habakkuk as his people chose to not turn to God and to continue on in a seeming path of destruction.  And it is not just faith that Habakkuk has here, but rejoicing! 

This same faith that gave Habakkuk the ability to rejoice we see in Mary as she “rejoices in the God of her salvation” while facing a hard road- a new pregnancy, being unmarried and most certainly scorned in her society.

What is the root of this heart felt cry of surrender and praise in the face of the unknown?

I loved reading a bit on Habakkuk and finding out that his name means “One who embraces” or “Clings”.  My commentary says beautifully, “At the end of his book this name becomes appropriate because Habakkuk chooses to cling firmly to God regardless of what happens to his nation.”  I also find that the Greek word for Lord God in this passage refers to the “Sovereign” Lord God.  Sovereign meaning “possessing supreme or ultimate power”.   He is able to do anything at anytime and what is the clincher here is that He is also all-loving.  He is Love itself.  Without love He could be a powerful dictator to be feared, but He is not.  And without power, He would be a weak God, unable to help us and untrustworthy, but He is not.  I too, can surrender and praise today because I am believing ultimately in His plan and goodness!  I don’t have to see change or purpose today or even in my lifetime to know that I know that I know that God is at work for good!

“The Lord knows best what is needful for us. What He does, He does for our good.  If we really knew just how much He loves us, we would always be willing to receive anything from His hand.  We would receive the bitter or the sweet without distinction.”

                                                                                                                                        -Brother Lawrence

Fullness of Joy

“You will show me the path of life.  In Your presence is fullness of joy.” Psalm 16:11

A million things beckon to me on this morning in everyday life, the dirty dishes, the piles of laundry, the stack of phone calls to return and bills to be paid… all of the list of things that I have done one million times.  And it’s not just the chores beckoning me, all the cares and needs of the people I love, a heart full of concern and burdens to give back to Jesus to carry.  I step onto our little back porch for a moment of fresh air and let the sun drench my face and I am instantly aware of His presence with me.   I close my eyes and remember the feeling well- His sun shining on my heart and all of those children’s hearts in a little mountain village in Romania.  We were there for 2 months to spend time with the orphan boys in a country that had just recently been freed from communist rule.  Our morning walk to greet the boys was often a moment that seemed otherworldly.  I can still see those little shoeless, half dressed boys, tummies empty, running at full speed toward us with a grin from ear to ear.  The sun was shining through the trees and down on us as we ran together and joined hands.  God was present there in that dancing circle of greeting and singing and rejoicing in Love, God’s love, God’s life in the now.  Heaven came down and made a stark ray of light in the midst of an otherwise dark and painful place. 

One of my favorite heroes whom you may know well, is Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch woman whose whole family was confined in concentration camps in Germany in the 1940’s.  I cannot think of a more horrendous place of darkness and pain than this place where Corrie lost all of her family and survived Ravensbruck where more than ninety-six thousand women died.  Her accounts of God reaching down to them there in that hell and bringing pieces of joy and life and purpose are true testament to the immense power in God’s presence even in the darkest place.  Corrie’s barrack being known as “the crazy place, where they hope.”  Corrie says, “Yes, hoped, in spite of all that human madness could do.  We had learned that a stronger power had the final word, even here.”

Yes, it is this same joy, this same hope, this same living fully in any moment that I have because it is the same God who loves and lives with me.   When I fix my heart on thanking Him and being aware of His presence I am filled up and I could be anywhere with any circumstance, be it cleaning the bathroom for the hundredth time or locked in a cell, where He is I find my joy, and what good news, He is everywhere!  There is nowhere I can go from His presence.  David says, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold You are there, If I take the wings of the morning or dwell on the other side of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.” Psalm 139:7-10

Where He is, there is life, and there is always the possibility of joy.

Eyes to See

After writing the last entry on interruptions in our days I was reflecting on the whole other level of interruptions that happen to us in larger chunks of our lives.   Some storylines continue on day after day, year after year that we would not choose.  Situations with ourselves, our loved ones that affect our lives greatly on a daily basis and we cry out, “God, why?  Where is your redemption?  Where is your ability to bring light to this darkness, this struggle…to bring change?”.  God seems to be calling us to a whole new level of surrender, of acceptance, of trust in Him.  It seems to me to be a delicate balance, this surrendering where He has us today and into the unknown without loosing heart, shutting down, giving up.  Accepting my struggle and yet still fighting for truth and believing whole heartedly that God is able at any moment to bring redemption.  Our biggest surrender here is to His timing, His goodness, His plan, believing, even with only an ounce of faith that He is working out something much greater than we could have dreamed up.  In this, though, we surrender what we want and feel we need today.  What is it we truly need?

Again and again God calls out to us in Scripture His heart and desire for us, “Come unto Me all you who are weary…and I will give you rest.”  “Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.”  “Seek me and you will find me when you search for Me with all your heart.”  But are we searching?  Are we drawing near? And what is it we will find? 

Again and again, Jesus tells us what we are truly searching for, whether we know it or not, and that is Him.  Jesus said to the woman at the well, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is who says to you, “Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water…..and whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst.  But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up in to everlasting life.” John 5:10,14  Life.  That is what we are needing.  Life that gives way to peace and hope and purpose and comfort and joy and intimacy with the One who promises to never leave or forsake us.  Satan wants to shut our heart down.  To close us up, whispering, “God could not be good here…look what He is allowing.” Or “God could not possibly work in me or in my loved one- they are too far gone.”  Small little whispers at first, but the results of listening put a film over our eyes that make us not able to see.  Not able to receive that life.  Not able to come, draw near and seek for fear that God is not present and powerful.

What I have found though, is it only takes a tenth of a second to cry out to Him in honest surrender and searching and He is there.  He puts the salve on my eyes and I can see again.  If I can walk through these days hand in hand with Him, I continue to see more and more and more how very much He is there and present.  He even says, “…He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6.  Lord, let me seek You!  On some of my hardest days I remember Him speaking to me through nature.  One winter in complete discouragement I sat out on my back deck and looked up and to my surprise, a rose was blooming.  A rose that meant He was present, that He loved me and that He was able to bring miracles- life in the dead of winter.  And another day, the night before Valentines years ago, I was putting out small tokens of love for my kids to find the next morning, and asked Him,”How will you show me you love me tomorrow?, I will be looking…”  I awoke with my jaw dropped at the fresh falling snow on Valentines morning and knew that it was Him speaking to my childlike heart that has always been crazy about surprise morning snowfall.  What’s more, that snow reminded me of his ability to cover over sin and make all things new.  Small little snowflakes that added up to millions of little miracles and a blanket of purity.   Yes, this is what I need.  Him.  Life.  Not the immediate answers to all my wants and self proclaimed needs, but through these human wants and needs and longings He is revealing to me that He is the answer that I am truly searching for.  And He is that same passionate Lover and Rock for all of my loved ones as well.  I have no need to fear.

“I cannot get the way of Christ’s love.  If I had known what He was keeping for me, I should never have been so faint-hearted.”  Samuel Rutherford

Welcoming Interruptions

Awaking this morning in the 6:00 darkness that makes you question whether it is really morning or not, I do my first and favorite thing on these fall and winter mornings and light the candles on the kitchen table.  Somehow this simple act of bringing light and beauty in a small way wakes me up and lifts my spirits and thoughts upward.  “What is important for me today?”, I ask Jesus.  “Surrender your day.” I felt the immediate reply.  Surrender my day, yes.  I would like it to be as normal as breathing when I wake up, but how often do I charge into my day without giving back to my Creator and Giver of Life the upcoming hours, and minutes, the details and the plans and surrender to His bigger plan for me.

Why is it so easy to hold on to what our flesh wants most- our plans, our desires, our hopes for the moment.  Why do I often find myself completely inconvenienced by the very gifts that God has given me?  Those precious children that I asked God for arguing AGAIN, or up all night, or remembering the oral presentation that is due the next day just as I sit down.  How quickly I forget the great gift I have of being a mother and the gift also I have to serve Jesus in this way because apart from God’s help, let’s face it, it is easier to have our eyes and thoughts on what we need after a long day!

If your day is at all like mine in this busy world we live in- you’ve got a calendar.  A calendar that is quickly filled with detailed lists and times and places to be and things to be done and if it doesn’t all fit together like a perfect puzzle, like it usually doesn’t, then what?!  I was really humbled this weekend as I started out my Saturday morning driving to pick up my sweet Madelynn from her slumber party a half hour away.  I drove past a house and noticed that smoke was billowing out of the roofline.  Just as I passed the house it registered that this was a major problem and that I had seen no one there helping, addressing the situation, no one at all.  My thoughts quickly went to my list for the day of getting Madelynn picked up in time to pick up Anthony’s friend, in time to get Alden to soccer, in time to get Madelynn to soccer….and you get the picture.  I was shocked at the inner struggle going on inside of me even in what was seemingly a life or death situation!!  I was horrified at the focus on “me” and my plans.  Thankfully, God knocked some sense into me and I turned the car around praying for strength and wisdom to know what to do, and thankfully all that smoke billowing out was from a major construction project going on in the front room.  I was relieved but also very aware of my need to give up my agenda.

 A favorite spiritual mentor of mine, Amy Carmichael takes this surrender a step further and calls it “welcoming interruptions”.  “Welcoming”… the word takes on a more positive note and adds a spirit of expectancy.  This day belongs to You, Lord, this night, this life….What are you up to?  What better thing do you have for me?  What good are you going to bring out of this because it is a complete mystery to me?!  I think at the root of this surrender, in welcoming interruptions, is a spirit of trust and faith in the goodness of our God and in His ability to make the crooked things straight and bring light into darkness.  It is also in trusting His timing- that He is never 5 minutes late. And it is rooted in the hope of heaven and a place someday where we will not have to deal with the frustration, pain and consequences of living in a fallen world. 

As 7:00 rolled around this morning and my youngest boy was lying sideways on his chair at breakfast, lying on the couch to put on his shoes and eventually throwing up, I knew that God had whispered those words to me an hour earlier….”Surrender you day”.  I had needed to hear them and in having surrendered already it was much easier to except my new day’s schedule with expectancy and thankfulness that I can care for my boy today.

Lord Jesus, Please give us childlike wonder and expectancy and trust in your plans for us.  Turn our interruptions into opportunities to see You and give us patience and faith to believe in Your power and ability to do “exceedingly and abundantly above all we could ask or think”.  Amen.

Childlike Heart

I have just had the pleasure of caring for my little niece (1) and nephew (3) the last couple days and am reminded of the special blessing God has given us in little children!  They bring a whole new tone of life to the home.  I have been reflecting on how absolutely natural and second nature it is for them to bring their emotions, EVERY emotion, to the surface and let you know what they are thinking and what they are needing without hesitation and without shame!  You are sure to hear about it if they are elated or grumpy or angry or sad.  Their little hearts are right there, vulnerable and exposed and actually trusting you!  It is this very childlikeness that Jesus says that He desires from us!  When we are living in this place of honesty with our feelings and vulnerable and trusting enough to go to Jesus with our inadequacies, fears, defeats...it is actually then that we are able to see our humanity.  It is then we see the gaping hole and the need that can be fulfilled in Him. 

My friend recently read this verse to me from a different version and it took on new life!  2 Corinthians 12:9 taken from the New Life Version says… ”He answered me, “I am all you need. I give you My loving-favor. My power works best in weak people...”  A few years ago I started recording all the ways in the Bible that God comes and offers His strength for my weakness and meets my needs.  Here is the list so far and I hope to add more!   I would love to hear of other references you have found…

My HOPE- “You are my HOPE” Jer.17:17

My REFUGE- “Be my strong habitation, to which I may resort continually. “ ps. 72:3

 “Oh Lord, my STRENGTH and my FORTRESS, my REFUGE in the day of trouble.” Jer.16:19

“God is our REFUGE and STRENGTH. A very PRESENT HELP in trouble.” Ps. 46:1

“For God is my DEFENSE my merciful God shall come to meet me.” Ps. 59:9, 10

“You are my HIDING PLACE You shall preserve me from trouble; you shall surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7

My WAY, my TRUTH, my LIFE- “I am the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE.”  John 14:6

My LIGHT- “The Lord will be to you and EVERLASTING LIGHT and your God your glory.”  Isaiah 60:19 -  “When I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a Light to me.” Micah 7:8

My PORTION- “The Lord is my PORTION…”  Lam 3:24

My PEACE-  “For He Himself is our PEACE…” Eph. 2:14

My JOY-“God, my exceeding JOY.”  Psalm 43:4

MY STRENGTH and SONG- “The Lord is my STRENGTH and my SONG and He has become my SALVATION .” Exodus 15:2

My FREEDOM - “Jesus has made me free…” Romans 8:2

My SATISFACTION-  “He satisfies  the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with goodness.” Psalm 107:9

“The Lord is my HELPER; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”  Hebrews 13:6

My CONSTANT-  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

My WISDOM-  “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously…” James 1:5  “Call to Me and I will answer you and will show you great and mighty things that you do not know.” Jer.33:3

My COUNSELOR,  My PRINCE of PEACE-  “And His name will be called WONDERFUL, COUNSELOR, MIGHTY GOD, EVERLASTING FATHER, PRINCE OF PEACE. “ Isaiah 9:6

My GUIDE-  “For this our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even unto death.” Ps. 48:14 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” Ps. 32:8

My ROCK- “The Lord is my ROCK, my FORTRESS and my DELIVERER” 2 Samuel 22:2  “They remembered that God was their ROCK and the Most High God their REDEEMER.” PS. 78:35

My FAITHFUL ONE- “HE never fails” Zeph. 3:5 “…Great is Thy faithfulness.” Lam.3:23

My FOUNDATION- “For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” 1 Cor.3:11

My WATER- “The Fountain of Living Waters.” Jer.2:13

My BREAD - “I am the bread of life.” John 6:48

My HEALER- Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.” Jer.33:6

My GRACE- “for the law was given through Moses, but GRACE and TRUTH came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17  “My GRACE is sufficient for you…” 2 Cor.12;9

My SUN and SHEILD- “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory.” Ps. 84:11

My SUPPLY- “my God shall supply all your needs.” Phil 4:13

My BREATH OF LIFE- “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. “ Job 33:4

My REWARD- “I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward. “ Gen. 15:1

“You are the-GOD- WHO-SEES” Gen. 16:13

My FATHER  “I will be a Father to you…” 2 co. 6:18  “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God.” Ps. 68:5

My SHEPHERD- “ The Lord is my shepherd, I have everything I need..” Ps.23:1  “I am the good shepherd.  The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.” John 10:11

My DOOR-   “I am the door.  If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.” John 10:9

My REPAIRER, My RESTORER-  “And You shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, the Restorer of streets to dwell in. “  Isaiah 59:12

My REDEEMER- “Their REDEEMER is strong.” Jeremiah 50:34

My ROOT-  “I am the ROOT and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.”  Rev. 22: 16

My ADVOCATE- “…we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” I John 2:1

My POTTER- “But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64: 8

Thank you, Jesus, that you care about the cries of our heart and show up for us and shine through us is in our vulnerabilities and weaknesses.   Thank you for giving us what we need.  May You be glorified as we seek and respond to You.

My Melody

"The Lord is my Strength and my Song and He has become my Salvation." Exodus 15:2

Music is definitely a favorite way for God’s spirit to speak to my heart.  He can lift my spirits or speak to whatever I am needing in that moment.  Growing up as a pastor’s kid I spent a lot of time at church and a lot of time with my face in a hymnal.  All the songs I would follow along to with pure apathy or giggle through with my best friend wondering what kind of crazy words these were!  Today the most amazing things happen with those hymns.  If I hear these songs I find myself singing along and knowing all of the words that I didn’t even realize I knew.  And what’s better, they hold such new life and meaning for me that many times they stop me dead in my tracks and the tears flow with thankfulness for what God has done in my life. 

The other day this song just popped into my head from nowhere, but to me it is not nowhere!  To me it is a message from God’s heart to mine and He is speaking to me.  This happens often and I do not even consciously choose to remember and sing a song, but will spontaneously bust out in a song that to some may seem hokey, but I can’t tell you how many times fits exactly what I need to hear. 

The words to this song were-

“Singing I go along life’s road, praising the Lord, praising the Lord.

  Singing I go along life’s road, for Jesus has lifted my load.”

For some reason this song centered me again in truth.  My spirit was reminded of my load that was lifted.  And what load is that?  Certainly not my list of trials that I would hope He would fix yesterday, but the load of trying to do it alone without Him for a decent chunk of my life and all the shame and emptiness and grief that comes along with that!  This perspective makes me switch gears and enter into a spirit of thankfulness regardless of my circumstance because the load He has lifted and what He has given me in His friendship and love, nothing and no one can take from me.

“Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe.  Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.  Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead. “

And He does this not just in hymns, but in many songs, and not just in songs, but with verses, and not just with verses but through nature……Left and right He is belting out His love for us.  God, give us eyes to see and ears to hear this Love.