Eyes to See

After writing the last entry on interruptions in our days I was reflecting on the whole other level of interruptions that happen to us in larger chunks of our lives.   Some storylines continue on day after day, year after year that we would not choose.  Situations with ourselves, our loved ones that affect our lives greatly on a daily basis and we cry out, “God, why?  Where is your redemption?  Where is your ability to bring light to this darkness, this struggle…to bring change?”.  God seems to be calling us to a whole new level of surrender, of acceptance, of trust in Him.  It seems to me to be a delicate balance, this surrendering where He has us today and into the unknown without loosing heart, shutting down, giving up.  Accepting my struggle and yet still fighting for truth and believing whole heartedly that God is able at any moment to bring redemption.  Our biggest surrender here is to His timing, His goodness, His plan, believing, even with only an ounce of faith that He is working out something much greater than we could have dreamed up.  In this, though, we surrender what we want and feel we need today.  What is it we truly need?

Again and again God calls out to us in Scripture His heart and desire for us, “Come unto Me all you who are weary…and I will give you rest.”  “Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.”  “Seek me and you will find me when you search for Me with all your heart.”  But are we searching?  Are we drawing near? And what is it we will find? 

Again and again, Jesus tells us what we are truly searching for, whether we know it or not, and that is Him.  Jesus said to the woman at the well, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is who says to you, “Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water…..and whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst.  But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up in to everlasting life.” John 5:10,14  Life.  That is what we are needing.  Life that gives way to peace and hope and purpose and comfort and joy and intimacy with the One who promises to never leave or forsake us.  Satan wants to shut our heart down.  To close us up, whispering, “God could not be good here…look what He is allowing.” Or “God could not possibly work in me or in my loved one- they are too far gone.”  Small little whispers at first, but the results of listening put a film over our eyes that make us not able to see.  Not able to receive that life.  Not able to come, draw near and seek for fear that God is not present and powerful.

What I have found though, is it only takes a tenth of a second to cry out to Him in honest surrender and searching and He is there.  He puts the salve on my eyes and I can see again.  If I can walk through these days hand in hand with Him, I continue to see more and more and more how very much He is there and present.  He even says, “…He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6.  Lord, let me seek You!  On some of my hardest days I remember Him speaking to me through nature.  One winter in complete discouragement I sat out on my back deck and looked up and to my surprise, a rose was blooming.  A rose that meant He was present, that He loved me and that He was able to bring miracles- life in the dead of winter.  And another day, the night before Valentines years ago, I was putting out small tokens of love for my kids to find the next morning, and asked Him,”How will you show me you love me tomorrow?, I will be looking…”  I awoke with my jaw dropped at the fresh falling snow on Valentines morning and knew that it was Him speaking to my childlike heart that has always been crazy about surprise morning snowfall.  What’s more, that snow reminded me of his ability to cover over sin and make all things new.  Small little snowflakes that added up to millions of little miracles and a blanket of purity.   Yes, this is what I need.  Him.  Life.  Not the immediate answers to all my wants and self proclaimed needs, but through these human wants and needs and longings He is revealing to me that He is the answer that I am truly searching for.  And He is that same passionate Lover and Rock for all of my loved ones as well.  I have no need to fear.

“I cannot get the way of Christ’s love.  If I had known what He was keeping for me, I should never have been so faint-hearted.”  Samuel Rutherford